Must look 21 or older.
For more alcoholic beverages, see our Breakfast menu.
Patrons must order meals when drinking at tables. Drinking without food available at the bar. Alcoholic beverages not available for take-out.
GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems. (3) Nothing quashes failure fire better than alcohol.
New! Beer
Budweiser
Available varieties of Bud: Classic Platinium, Extra Gold Light, Silver Bullet, Bronze Star, Tin Foil, Near, Ice, Light, Lite, Lt., Dry, Chill, Lime, Clamato, Red Light, Extravagant Esprit, Select, Best, Special, Reserved, holiday novelty flavors, Children's.
Coors
Non-Racist Coors
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Pabst Blue Ribbon for Hipsters
Miller Genuine Draft (on tap only)
Hand-crafted limited-edition microbrewed flavored beer. Available flavors: sickly orange, overbearing blueberry, and oh-God-there's-vanilla-in-this-beer!
New! Wines on draft
Red, White, champagne.
What wine on draft complements my meal?
For any chicken or fish entrees or strips, we suggest the white wine on draft.
For steaks and dishes without dipping sauce, the house recommends the red wine on draft.
If you're eating breakfast, try a flute of the champagne on draft.
New! Drinks For 21-Year-Olds
Sex on the Beach
Screaming Orgasm
BJ Rinse (bottled water)
Long Island Iced Tea
Liquor Cabinet Sampler Shot
New! Cocktails
Martini
Customize your own drinky-poo, then visit our Martini Fixins bar.
Served chilled, room-temperature, dry, stirred, shaken, or junk-dunked.
Martini Fixins Bar:
Green olives without pimentos, green olives with pimentos, black olives, anchovy-stuffed black olives, pickled pearl onions, lemon twists, lemon wedges, lime twists, lime wedges, coffee beans, cocktail swords, wooden toothpicks, cocktail napkins, bottle of vermouth to wave over glass.
Other cocktails from our Vermouth bar:
Manhattan, Bronx, Bijou, Gibson, Abbey, Bobby Burns, The Yuck Gross.
Vermouth also available in a glass or forced down throat.
Vermouth served with choice of American Tapas: stick of spearmint gum, M&Ms, or cellphone wipe.
New! Extreme Cocktails
Applejack Extreme
Applejack, simple syrup, lemon juice, taurine.
Old Fashioned Extreme
Rye, bitters, sugar cube, club soda, guarana.
Harvey Wallbanger Extreme
Vodka, vanilla Galliano, orange juice, ephedra.
New! Absinthe drinks
Absinthe Mirror
Experience how others view you, the absinthe drinker.
2 parts absinthe
1 part vinegar
5 parts water
Served in a hot water bottle.
by Mike Spiegelman
Sarcastic Sidekick Sayings (Listed Alphabetically)
Awesome.Awesome?
Awesome!
Come to daddy.
Du-de.
Epic fail.
Fail.
Failski.
For reals?
In that case, you're not going to like this, but...
Is that, like, your final answer?
Let me Google that for you.
Needs more cowbell.
Not your night? Not your night!
Now you tell me.
That'll do it.
That looks like fun.
That's so money.
That's so Raven.
That's so wack.
Uh...what?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah!
Yeah, awesome. Yeah, awesome?
Yeah, awesome!
Yeah, come to daddy.
Yeah, du-de.
Yeah, epic fail.
Yeah, fail.
Yeah, failski.
Yeah, for reals?
Yeah, in that case, you're not going to like this, but...
Yeah, is that, like, your final answer?
Yeah, let me Google that for you.
Yeah, needs more cowbell.
Yeah, not your night? Not your night! Yeah, now you tell me.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right!
Yeah, that'll do it.
Yeah, that looks like fun.
Yeah, that's so money.
Yeah, that's so Raven.
Yeah, that's so wack.
Yeah, uh...what?
Yeah, whee, we're all gonna die!
Yeah, whoo hoo!
Yeah, whuh-whoh.
Whee, we're all gonna die! Whoo hoo!
Whuh-whoh.
Yo, are you writing down everything I say?
Yo, do you take me as a shallow, alienated clown with no real sense of irony other than saying 'Zoinks, Scooby?'
Zoinks, Scooby!
Zzzz...wha?
0 to 60, baby.
You Know You Watch Too Much Television When...
...you name your first-born "Must Feed TV."
...you get bitten by dogs.
...you recognize your cell-mate from "Cops."
...your cell-mate recognizes you from "Street Patrol."
...you're unable to fast-forward through the Bowflex® TreadClimber® commercial because you're already strapped into a Bowflex® TreadClimber®.
...look out! More dogs!
...you get bitten by dogs.
...you recognize your cell-mate from "Cops."
...your cell-mate recognizes you from "Street Patrol."
...you're unable to fast-forward through the Bowflex® TreadClimber® commercial because you're already strapped into a Bowflex® TreadClimber®.
...look out! More dogs!
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