Salad Jokes 2010: Mushroom Jokes

File Under: Salad Jokes
See also: Salad Bar Jokes 

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "I just said we don't serve fungi." Mushroom says, "No, no, not 'fungi,' 'fun guy.' I made a pun." Bartender says, "Get the fuck out of my bar."

Two mushrooms walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms." Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'" Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "I don't need your business. I'm already sautéed."

Mushroom and his date walk into a bar. Bartender goes, "We don't serve mushrooms." Date turns to the mushroom and says, "You never take me anywhere nice."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "But I'm a friend of Steve's." Bartender says, "Who's Steve?" Mushroom says, "Steve the grasshopper. From the other bar joke."

Mushroom walks into a nearly empty bar, sees only the bartender and the bartender's NA sponsor. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "Really?" Bartender pulls out a baseball bat from behind the bar and yells, "I said, get out. Get out! Get out! Get out!" Mushroom goes, "OK, geez," and leaves. NA sponsor turns to the bartender and says, "Don't you think you overreacted?" Bartender goes, "You know I freak out on mushrooms."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "What will it be?" Mushroom says, "About time."

Contest Results

Yuks of Canucks (November 2009)
We presented a photo college of famous personalities and asked, "Find all the funny Canadians."

The solution was Catherine O'Hara, located above Jim Carrey, below Michael J. Fox, and in between Rich Hall and the cast of "Kids in the Hall."

Out of 1,600 correct answers, we randomly selected Mike Spiegelman, who wins a new Luggage Tuesdays t-shirt.

Lover's Grid (November 2009)
Our intern Gary created a word search with an exclusive message for his steady girlfriend. We asked our readers to find it too.

Here's Gary's solution:

There were no correct answers, but Gary's girlfriend wins a used Luggage Tuesdays t-shirt, courtesy of Mike Spiegelman.

Mr. Thishead's Celebrity Anagram Challenge (December 2009)
The venerable and wildly-popular puzzlemaster Mr. Thishead gave us an exclusive challenge for our December contest: Describe a celebrity using letters from his or her name.
Unfortunately, Mr. Thishead canceled the contest after receiving many entries using his own name.
No Luggage Tuesdays t-shirts were exchanged.

Retraction from Friend's Roommate's Girlfriend's Aunt's Co-Worker's Hair-Dresser

We apologize for a miscommunication regarding the retelling of an incident about the pet cat of a friend's roommate's girlfriend's aunt's co-worker's hair-dresser. While it was true the cat was soaking wet from the rain, the cat was dried off with a towel and not in the microwave, as reported.

Friend's roommate's girlfriend's aunt's co-worker's hair-dresser regrets the error.