Wristwatch: Manually adjusted.
Cell phone: Automatically updated.
Kitchen radio: Manually adjusted.
Toaster: Funny, don't remember the toaster having a clock before.
Microwave: Manually adjusted.
Coffeemaker: Fucking coffeemaker, work, damn you.
Bedroom radio: Manually adjusted.
Sega Dreamcast: Manually adjusted.
Nintendo DS: Manually adjusted.
Toddler's radio: Has been an hour off for half a year, now correct.
iPod speaker port: Impossible to adjust.
Computer: Automatically updated.
Nearby church bell tower: N/A.
by Mike Spiegelman
Mnemonic Devices
All Bad Children Don't Ever Fuel Genuine Hollow Innovation, Just Kinda Like Mundane Nothingness, Ordinary Pap, Quizzical Really, Since Toddlers Utilize Very Weird "Xtreme" Yearnings, ZOMG. [The Alphabet]
2 Potato, 3 Potato, 5 Potato, 7. [Single-Digit Prime Numbers]
Tell Girls Stuff, Just Asking, Just Saying, So? [Grace Slick Rock Bands]
Salty Seaweed Sandwiches Sound So Savory [Sounds Snakes Make]
Prepare Yearly Rent Finances Internally,
Pay Your Recent Fines Often.
Prepare Yucky Rancid Flavored Ices,
As You Shave Ice All Alone. [The Hokey Pokey]
2 Potato, 3 Potato, 5 Potato, 7. [Single-Digit Prime Numbers]
Tell Girls Stuff, Just Asking, Just Saying, So? [Grace Slick Rock Bands]
Salty Seaweed Sandwiches Sound So Savory [Sounds Snakes Make]
Prepare Yearly Rent Finances Internally,
Pay Your Recent Fines Often.
Prepare Yucky Rancid Flavored Ices,
As You Shave Ice All Alone. [The Hokey Pokey]
Mathematical Bar Jokes
Y=1/X is having a drink at the bar, when X=0 approaches and says, "Hey, how about you and me get together?" And Y=1/X says, "Never."
A drunk 43 has been sitting at the bar all day, harassing everyone. 43 turns to the bartender and says, "Make me a double." Bartender says, "That's it. You're eighty-sixed!"
A drunk 43 has been sitting at the bar all day, harassing everyone. 43 turns to the bartender and says, "Make me a double." Bartender says, "That's it. You're eighty-sixed!"
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