INT. A MAZE.
The maze is a metaphor.
MOUSE:
Left, right, forward, or backward?
CAT:
Snicker.
MOUSE:
I hear you but can't see you.
CAT:
I hear you and can see you. Also.
MOUSE:
Who is that?
CAT:
Your archenemy.
MOUSE:
You're the arrow that got me in here in the first place?
CAT:
No, I'm the cat.
MOUSE:
Cat? WTF?
CAT:
I'm the hunter. You're the...
MOUSE:
Perhaps. Perhaps I'm the hunter and you are the other guys.
CAT:
I am chasing you, not you're chasing me.
MOUSE:
Are you? Am I?
CAT:
I'm in so deep. Even my wife don't know if I'm mouse or cat.
MOUSE:
Snicker.
CAT:
I see your every move.
MOUSE:
I see your every move to my every move.
CAT:
Don't be contrary.
MOUSE:
Shut up.
CAT:
I shake my fist at you. MOUSE!
MOUSE:
What?
CAT:
The game is afoot.
MOUSE:
"Afoot?" Speak English. LOL.
CAT:
This isn't a joke. It's a game.
MOUSE:
A life-affirming game?
CAT:
No, a deadly game.
MOUSE:
Amongst whom?
CAT:
Between. A deadly game between cat and mouse.
MOUSE:
That doesn't sound original.
CAT:
"A deadly game between cat and mouse" doesn't sound original?
MOUSE:
Google it.
CAT:
You Google it.
MOUSE:
Shall we play a deadly game of Hot Potato instead?
CAT:
Must it be hot?
MOUSE:
What? The potato?
CAT:
Describe the potato.
MOUSE:
It's a potato. I am mashing it.
CAT:
Use a food mill.
MOUSE:
I have a potato masher.
CAT:
A food mill works better.
MOUSE:
But a potato masher mashes potatoes.
CAT:
You can't escape me.
MOUSE:
You can't catch me.
CAT:
Keep talking. I'm tracing your call.
MOUSE:
Using what?
CAT:
My hand. I'm using a turkey hand tracer.
MOUSE:
I see you through my sniper scope.
CAT:
That's extreme.
MOUSE:
I lost my binoculars.
CAT:
I have them.
MOUSE:
This deadly game is between you and me. The binoculars are innocent.
CAT:
Are they?
MOUSE:
Yes.
BINOCULARS:
Am I?
CAT:
Our existence is to chase.
MOUSE:
A deadly game.
CAT:
How come?
MOUSE:
When the chase ends, we cease to exist.
CAT:
Totes?
MOUSE:
Totes.
CAT:
Don't be ridic.
MOUSE:
Don't TTH.
CAT:
I'm not Trying Too Hard.
MOUSE:
I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and you're glue.
CAT:
No, you're glue.
MOUSE:
No, you're glue.
CAT:
No, your glue.
MOUSE:
I was looking for that glue.
CAT:
You exist under my shadow.
MOUSE:
I exist with or without your shadow. You cannot exist without mine.
CAT:
A bit harsh.
MOUSE:
Deal with it.
CAT:
Bring it.
MOUSE:
I'll bring some.
CAT:
Bring it on.
MOUSE:
Bring it on again.
CAT:
Bring it on: all or nothing.
MOUSE:
Bring it on: in it to win it.
CAT:
Bring it on: fight to the finish.
MOUSE:
Bring it on: the television series.
CAT:
Touché.
MOUSE:
There's not a moment to lose! Throw me the money!
CAT:
It's a matter of time until I catch you.
MOUSE:
It's a matter of time until I evade you.
CAT:
You can't evade me forever.
MOUSE:
You can't catch me forever.
CAT:
Explain.
MOUSE:
You can only catch me once, while I can evade you forever.
CAT:
This is my maze.
MOUSE:
This is my maze.
CAT:
This is our maze.
MOUSE:
And you're hunting me?
CAT:
You're hunted.
MOUSE:
"You're hunted?"
CAT:
My catchphrase.
MOUSE:
Eh.
BINOCULARS:
Trite.
CAT:
You may run but you cannot hide.
MOUSE:
OK.
CAT:
@mouse ur hunted.
MOUSE:
No. RT @cat @mouse ur hunted.
CAT:
This maze will consume you, like...
MOUSE:
...left-over office cake?
CAT:
Quit it.
MOUSE:
This maze will consume me, like a teenager with a credit card?
CAT:
Cut it out.
MOUSE:
...like samples at Sam's Club.
CAT:
Not everything has to be a bit.
