Family Restaurant Menu, Part 6.7: Entrees: Seafood

Management requests patrons not to tell the "Whenever I see food, I eat it" joke to the staff, as per the ruling of John Doe vs. Waitress Who Snapped.

New! Lobster Shrimp
Move over, jumbo shrimp! This shrimp is so big, it's shaped like lobsters. It's served over steaming hot rice-shaped couscous, with a wedge of cantaloupe-sized lemon.

New! Paella Jambalaya Etouffee Gumbo
Don't worry if you can't pronounce this traditional stew of traditional stews. Just know it's a lot of different shellfish and point to the menu when ordering. Also, don't fret about where we find shellfish.

Retro! Microwaved Frozen Fish Sticks with Frozen Relish Package, Mayo and Ketchup Tartar Sauce
Relive your Gen-X years when you had to cook for yourself and the only thing in the kitchen was a box of fish sticks. (Remember, your ex-roommate Jake bought it when he was on that vegetarian kick. He never ate it, and then he moved out of the apartment and you were like, "Whatever. Babysitter food.") Unlike you, we know how long to microwave the breaded sticks of fish and properly whip up tartar sauce with perfectly thawed pickle relish.

New! ScrodFest 2008
Dive into a seaworthy scrod celebration. Catch one of these scrod entrees: Spicy Jumbo Scrod with Lobster Shrimp Butter, Euro-Pepper Chipotle Scrod, or Tequila-Beer-Margarita Scrod. Served with cheese sticks and pork buns. Avaliable only on Scrod Lover's Tuesdays.

New! All-You-Can-Eat Wild California Chinook King Salmon
'Tis the chinook fishing season for bottomless plates of prized pink fish from the Sacramento and San Joaquin Rivers. Dig in, there's plenty more where that comes from!

1 comment:

Smurf said...

Interestingly, Luggage Tuesdays IS my only source for comedy. Hmmm.... Good call.