Actual Mail

God's Letters to Children

Dear Natalie,
Thank you for your letter. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Hopefully you are still alive. Oh, wait.


Dear Kenneth,
I do exist. And if you want to bring up science and logic, well then, logically, if I don't exist, why did you mail me a letter?


Dear Amir,
The simple nature of existence means humanity must

Santa's Letters to God

Dear God,
Sorry to interrupt that last letter but, hey, dude. This gag of yours, "God's Letters to Children," well, it's a total rip-off of the "Santa's Letters to Children" bit I did in 1991. See example, Attch.


Santa's Letters to Children

Dear Perry,

I can't get you that new single "Ninja Rap" by Vanilla Ice. It is too popular right now.

Santa Claus

Warner Bros Pictures Marketing Department to Fred Claus' Producers

Is this some sort of Viral Campaign for Fred Claus?

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