Not affliated with HBO's "Entourage," HBO's "Entourage Man-a-thon," or HBO2 East's "Win a Date with Jeremy Piven."
...to First-Class, childhood friend, because I love you, man; and business manager, because you're a Jew.
...to Bee, the zany one.
...to Panther, thanks for telling me that amazing story.
...to Zookie, my sponsor and compass.
...to Uzi, who always asks me if I'm finished with that burger.
...to Sneeze, my dealer.
...to my bodyguard, Bounce, thanks for you-know with the you-know-what with that-thing.
...to my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Nolan, who told me don't stop believing.
...to my job counselor, Mr. McReilly, who told me don't stop believing.
...to Steve Perry of Journey, who told me be realistic. Set easy goals.
...to Royale, my barber and closest business confidant (non-Jew).
...to Smith, Royale's friend.
...to that guy, Royale's other friend.
...to Borat. Honestly, I know you're a homeless guy and not Borat, but I'm impressed you would pretend to be him for my amusement.
...to the Almighty, and by "Almighty," I just mean God, not Jesus.
...just kidding, big shout-out to Jesus, too.
...to my family, who's always been there for me, except the times I've been an asshole.
...to my entourage, who's always been there when I've been an asshole.
...to my fans, for making my entourage possible.