...you laugh at SpongeBob SquarePants.
...NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross reviews another show on HBO.
...people complaining about a baby on an airplane are louder than the actual baby.
...you wake up late for work.
...a school bus has the right of way.
...Penny Marshall has more speaking lines than you do (Cindy Williams only).
...your sneakers start making squeaking noises.
...Helen Thomas won't leave you alone.
...Borscht Belt comedians tell the set-ups in English and the punchlines in Yiddish.
...anytime you flick a booger in the urinal while peeing (men only).
...someone has to go through the air duct.
...a sudoku puzzle has a scarcity of the number 9.
...you leave the assassination game but get sucked back in for one more mission and your boss double-crosses you and frames you for a crime you did not commit.
...you turn 21.