File under: Salad Jokes
Why did the Waldorf salad insist on being served with exactly 27 napkins facing north?
Because the salad is a little nutty.
What did the apples say to the celery?
"Stop stalking me!"
What do you call a hotel best known for its salad?
Not very good.
What's the difference between a fruit salad and a Waldorf salad?
A man walks into the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel and orders a Waldorf salad, but with crackers. The waiter says, "Crackers? Where do you think you are, the Ritz?"
A man walks into the Ritz Hotel and orders a Waldorf salad. The waiter tells him he's in the wrong hotel and that that salad is at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel down the street. The man insists, so the waiter begrudgingly enters the kitchen and informs the chef. The chef gets so angry that he makes the salad, but instead of preparing a dressing of fresh dill, tarragon, and mayo, he pisses all over the salad. The waiter takes the plate and gives to the customer, who eats it all. Afterward, the waiter comes up to him and asks him how it was. "It was very good," said the man. "But tell the chef to lay off the asparagus."