Things To Do 02/01/10

Sincerely brush teeth.
Update holiday display. Switch baby Jesus with baby cupid.
Come up with new catchphrase, like "Snap to it."
Buy sneakers that tweet runtime jogging and running stats. Tweet stats to friends.
Rediscover fire.
Reinvent the wheel.
Rediscovent the fire wheel.
Complete tasks from 2008's and 2009's "Things To Do" lists.
Snap to it more.

Myths About Relaxation

Myth: Mantras are phrases repeated to align oneself with the universe.
Reality: Mantras are phrases repeated to free adjacent seats on the bus.

Myth: A popular way to relax is to take a bath.
Reality: Only Europeans take baths.

Myth: To help your loved one relax, you should hide their coffee.
Reality: Where's my damn coffee?

Myth: To say someone "has a stick up his ass" is to indicate he is tense and uncomfortable.
Reality: Putting a stick up your ass is actually quite enjoyable.