Signs on Store Windows I Hate When I Walk Home Drunk

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. Well, maybe if you didn't name your bar "Club Ibiza" I would put my clothes back on. You're never been to Ibiza, you know Ibiza? I've been there. Don't tell me what to do.

Clothes on Mannequins Not For Sale. I didn't get the bulletin from Used Clothes Hipster Central, but isn't the whole point of a store window to sell what's displayed? Your logic is killing my buzz. Get out of my brain!

Respect Our Neighborhood Now it's "our" neighborhood because all of a sudden your patrons are loud peeing guys from that part of town, you're better than them? This is my neighborhood, too, and your sign should read "Respect Your Neighborhood." OK, I'm not from here, OK. I'm not a yeller, you're a yeller.

UPS NO. What do you have against UPS? So it's like that, huh?

Do Not Take Laundry Carts Outside Laundromat. Oh no, please don't rock the boat, gotta be a conformist and think inside the box and keep the cart indoors. What if the cart was outside, management gonna be like oh no, please don't rock the boat and stuff. Don't rock the boat, laundromat.


Anonymous said...

I've long been perplexed by establishments that would allow people with no pants but shoes are mandatory.


Dean said...

How do you say, "Se Habla Espanol" in Vietnamese?