Small Print on Foodstuff

Scientific evidence suggests, but does not prove, that eating two bowls of Toffee Maple Flakes, as part of a diet high in maple and toffee, can encourage regular visits to an emergency room.

May contain: nuts, wheat, milk, egg, ephedra.

Our non-hydrogenated non-dairy trans-fat non-GMO buttery spread may reduce the risk of heart disease. We call this 'the magic butter.'

Please drink responsibly. Dad. Please.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, but it'll totally give you a fat hard-on.

Please refrigerate after opening, or give to the homeless.

1) According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregenacy because of risk of birth defects. 2) Since when are you going to let the Man tell you what to do?

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