Mayor Decrees Free Ice Cream for Denizens Who Missed the Torch Relay

San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom apologized for changing the Olympic torch run route, denying thousands of city residents and tourists the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. "Look, I'll make it up to you," said Newsom. "Free ice cream for everyone I burned!" Ice cream will be available all day today at Justin Herman Plaza. For real this time.

Apologies to News As Gossip.

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