What Did You Think About Your Complementary Glass of Water?

It was our pleasure to serve you a free glass of water, and now it's our pleasure to ask you to "freely" rate it.

1. How was your glass of water?
__ Good __ Disappointing

1.5 How was the service?
__ Disappointing __ OK

2. Was the glass of water to your specifications?
__ Yes __ No

2.5 (If "No") What was wrong?
__ I said, "No ice." __ Iced water not room-temperature

2.8 (If "No") In the future, what do you want us to do?
__ I said, "No ice." __ Simply serve iced water at room-temperature

3. Ice: Was there ice in your glass of water?
__ Yes __ I said, "No ice."

3.4 (If "Yes") What kind of ice?
__ Cubes __ Chips __ Shaved

3.9 (If "Yes") In a word, describe the ice.
__ Intrusive __ Icy

4. Stuff: Was there stuff added to your water?
__ No __ Yes





4.5 (If "Yes") What stuff? (Check all appropriate stuff, listed alphabetically)
__ Anise
__ Band-Aid
__ Bay leaf
__ Bitters
__ Caffeine
__ Chili pepper
__ Cigarette butt
__ Cinnamon
__ Cinnamon stick
__ Cocktail onion
__ Cocktail umbrella
__ Coffee beans
__ Corn syrup
__ Cucumber slice
__ Cucumber wedge
__ Cress
__ Dill blade
__ Dirt (Like in "Back to the Future III")
__ E. Coli
__ Edelweiss
__ Ephedra
__ Fennel
__ Flax seeds
__ Frog
__ Garlic clove
__ Gelatin
__ Ginger flakes
__ Ginger root
__ Ginseng
__ Ginseng, American
__ Ginseng root
__ Ginseng, Siberian
__ Gold flakes
__ Goldenseal
__ Hemlock
__ Hormones
__ Horseradish root
__ Ice
__ Jasmine
__ Juleps
__ Kelp
__ Licorice stick
__ Lemon juice
__ Lemon slice
__ Lemon wedge
__ Lemon zest
__ Lemongrass
__ Lemonsalt
__ Lime juice
__ Lime slice
__ Lime wedge
__ Lime zest
__ LSD
__ Metamucil
__ Mickey
__ MSG
__ Myrrh
__ Nutmeg
__ NutraSweet
__ Oat bran
__ Old gum
__ Olive
__ Orange oil
__ Orange slice
__ Orange wedge
__ Orange zest
__ Parsley
__ Patchouli oil
__ Pebbles
__ Peppermint
__ Peppermint candy cane
__ Poison
__ Pomegranate seeds
__ Poppy seeds
__ Pubic hair
__ Purple flavor
__ Question mark
__ Red dye
__ Rock salt (around rim)
__ Roofie
__ Rose petals
__ Rosehips
__ Saffron
__ Sea Monkeys
__ Spit
__ St. John's Wart
__ Stevia
__ Sugar
__ THC
__ Urine
__ Valerian root
__ Vanilla bean
__ Vanilla stick
__ Vitamins
__ Vodka
__ Wasabi
__ Water
__ Witch hazel
__ Xanax
__ Xylitol
__ Yogurt culture
__ Yohimbe
__ Zima
__ Zoloft

4.6 (If "Yes" or "No") (Optional) Suggestions? _________

5. Preferences: I prefer
__ Tap water __ Filtered water __ Spring water __ Buy a drink with my meal once in a while

3 comments:

Susie Felber said...

HA! This post is awesome and read while I enjoyed a glass of water.

Unknown said...

I find this comment sheet SEVERELY lacking. There's no place to complain that someone has inadvertantly (or, as I suspect, vertantly) placed a question mark in my glass of water. Oh wait. There it is.
...
You win this one.

Geoffrey Burrows said...

1. Overall it was good.

1.5. Service was disappointing. The waiter knew nothing about the product.

2. No. Insufficient volume.

2.5. See above.

2.8. Supply advertised volume.

3. Yes.

3.4. Crystal Meth.

3.9. Addictive.

4. Yes, crystal meth.

4.5. Sea Monkeys. ...but it could just be the meth talking.

4.6. Next time, less water, more meth.

5. Which one has the meth?