Family Restaurant Menu, Part 16: Last Meals

Choice of prix fixe menu or all-you-can-eat-buffet. Reservations through Governor's office only. Not available in every state. Alcohol no longer served with meal, thanks to one troublemaker. No substitutions. Spoons only. No shirt, no shoes, no pardons.

Prix Fixe Menu.

First Course: Appetizer.
New! Finger Food Five
Point to anything on the menu and we'll serve it as an appetizer (Limit 5 points).

Second Course: Chili.
New! 1001 Meats You Must Eat before You Die Chili
Not affiliated with the book, 1001 Meats You Must Eat Before You Die. Chili served cold to prevent guard scalding.

Third Course: Entrees.
New! Surf N Turf N Surf N Turf
Two Maine lobsters and two New York ribeyes served with two baked potatoes and choice of 4 vegetables.

New! Vegetarian Option: Surf N Surf
Two Maine lobsters served with two baked potatoes and choice of 5 vegetables.

New! Everything Burger
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, caviar, bacon, Dorito's, candy corn, Surf N Turf N Surf N Turf platter, mushrooms, Lord of the Rings box set, gravy, onion rings, stuffed inside an Everything Burger.

Fourth Course: Dessert.
New! A Plate of Brownies
It's a plate of brownies.

New! File-less Birthday Cake
Our cakes taste just like the ones delivered from the Outside, except ours don't have a metal file inside. We replace it with your choice of filling: none, vanilla, or metal file flavor.

Fifth Course: Cigar.
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigars Are Not A Safe Alternative To Cigarettes. Tobacco Smoke Increases The Risk Of Disease, Even In Nonsmokers.

All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Please follow Salad Bar and Sundae Bar rules.

Before you meet your maker, meet our buffet table. Gorge on low-quality produce, seafood, or common vegetables. Not guaranteed fresh. May cause sickness and ironic death.

Blue Veined Jumbo Shrimp
Room-Temperature Tuna Casserole*
Tainted Meat Balls*
Recalled Green Onions and Spinach Salad
Old New England Clam Chowder
Thawed Fish Sandwich Sliders
Vanilla Fen-Phen Ice Cream
Vintage Egg Nog*

*Verboten for clientele destined to electric chair.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Can I have the recipe for the metal file flavor filling? It's for a friend.