Rejected Rejection Letters

You have been accepted to our academic instituation for the fall of...wait a minute, that's wrong. End dictation. [Inaudible] ...send this.

University Dean
Dictated but not read


Dear John,
As the war wages on, I don't know how long I can go on without knowing if I'll ever see you again. Granted, neither of us are in the service, and last time we saw each other was this morning in bed.


Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately we don't consider it up to the standards of the New Yorker.

Editors of Atlantic Monthly


Thanks for meeting us about the position. We have decided at this time to select another candidate. We do appreciate the uplift in our office morale from your laughable presence and our ongoing animated discussions since thenforth.


Thanks for another submission. You sure are prolific!! While the premise of rejected rejection letters does hold promise, it still seems a bit "head up the ass" and has no solid conclusion.


1 comment:

Dean said...

Screw those guys. Send these to

Your Fan,