The Exciting Adventures of Bystanders

See also: Superman's Top Three Jerk Moves by Anonymous Boy Photographer Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, video version, below; Spider-Man Wants to Join The Avengers; Super Villains Missed Connections; Aquaman catchphrases; Batman vs Iron Man Part 1, Part 2; Superhero Obituaries.

The Exciting Adventures of Bystanders

By Mike Spiegelman (c) 2012.


Superman flies by.

BYSTANDER #1
Look, up in the sky!

BYSTANDER #2
It's Superman.

BYSTANDER #1
It's a bird!

BYSTANDER #2
It's Superman.

BYSTANDER #1
It's a plane!

BYSTANDER #2
It's Superman.

BYSTANDER #1
It's Superman!

BYSTANDER #2
Are you sure?

BYSTANDER #1
Yes.

BYSTANDER #2
Are you?

BYSTANDER #1
Yes.

BYSTANDER #2
Sure that flying man wasn't a bird.

BYSTANDER #1
Ah.

BYSTANDER #2
Sure that guy with a cape wasn't an airplane?

BYSTANDER #1
Yes.

BYSTANDER #2
By the way, were you talking to me or do you always say out loud what you're thinking?

BYSTANDER #1
You're belittling me.

BYSTANDER #2
Sure I'm not a bird?

BYSTANDER #1
Who are you anyway?

BYSTANDER #2
Who am I?

BYSTANDER #1
What's your name?

BYSTANDER #2
OK, chill dude.

BYSTANDER #1
And you are...?

BYSTANDER #2
Peace, man.

BYSTANDER #1
Your name is Peace, Man? Who's that? Who are you?

BYSTANDER #2
Who are you?

BYSTANDER #1
I'm the guy who mistook Superman for a bird. And you are...?

BYSTANDER #2
This is gold. Say that again.

BYSTANDER #1
Wait. Are you recording this?

BYSTANDER #2
Gonna upload to YouTube.

BYSTANDER #1
Gimme that!

BYSTANDER #2
Not cool, you can't acknowledge the camera.

Explosion. Brainiac runs by.

BRAINIAC
Out of my way, I'm Brainiac.

BYSTANDER #1
Look out, it's Brainiac.

BYSTANDER #2
How can you tell? Maybe it was a can of tuna.

BYSTANDER #1
We're bystanders in a world of superheroes and supervillians. Either we point at the action or die in the action.

BYSTANDER #2
Amen, brother.

BYSTANDER #1
I'm not your brother, dickhead.

BYSTANDER #2
Oh, testy.

BYSTANDER #1
Excuse me, I'm late for work.

BYSTANDER #2
Where do you work?

BYSTANDER #1
I sell merchanizing at Duran Duran concerts.

BYSTANDER #2
Mechanizing?

BYSTANDER #1
Merchanizing.

BYSTANDER #2
Merchandise.

BYSTANDER #1
Merch.

BYSTANDER #2
Merch table. Tableful of merch.

BYSTANDER #1
That's funny. Are you still recording this?

BYSTANDER #2
No.

Superman flies by.

BYSTANDER #1
Look, it's Superman!

BYSTANDER #2
Neat!

FIN

Superman's a Dick by Bitter Show