Family Restaurant Menu, Part 9.3: Brunch: Sunday Celebrity Solicitation Section by Sir Walter Scott

Dear Sir Walter,
What has celebrity brunch entree sausage pancake sandwich been doing lately? I bet my buddy a steak that it's not even on the menu.
Hungry in Astoria

Dear Hungry,
Better get dressed, because you owe your pal a steak dinner. But seriously, not only is sausage pancake sandwich on the menu, but it will soon come with options, according to publicist Angie Lipton. "We see great cheese and egg choices in the future," says Lipton.

Dear Sir Walter,
Who was that brunch entree seen with bowl of hot oatmeal on a recent commercial?
Drunk in Bloomfield

Dear Drunk,
Sources close to oatmeal say it was none other than plate of bacon, but they are just good friends.

Dear Sir Walter,
Is that really lox on the menu? Isn't that crap expensive?
Concerned in Fairfax

Dear Concerned,
You're right. It's really whitefish dyed red with sliced phonions and copy-capers.

Well, that's my time. I've enjoyed my guest spot in this menu, and if you enjoyed it too, look for my regular column in the glossy magazine found inside most national Sunday newspapers. Also, my novel Ivanhoe is now available on Amazon Kindle, and check out my blog.

1 comment:

Dean said...

It's this type of lurid brunch gossip that is undermining the moral fiber of the nation.