Editors,
Your recent parody of Personality Parade by Walter Scott plays down the unhealthy dangers of breakfast pancake sandwiches ("Family Restaurant Menu, Part 9.3: Sunday Celebrity Solicitation Section by Sir Walter Scott"). Why, one McGriddle alone has 21 grams of fat and 245 milligrams of cholesterol. Breakfast pancake sandwiches are no laughing matter.
A. Renegade
Editors,
Bring back the votive candles. Don't allow the actions of a few bad teenagers to alter the brunch policy. Also, bring back baskets of free shelled peanuts.
Tony
Editors,
Your Double Double Lumberjack contains 8 links of sausage. That's too many links of sausage. I say, no on 8.
Tony
Editors,
Your breakfast side of bacon has only 4 strips ("Family Restaurant Menu, Part 8: Breakfast"). You'd need to double that to keep me satisfied. When it comes to strips of bacon, vote yes on 8.
Name Placeholder
Editors,
Whether you're for 8 strips of bacon or against 8 links of sausage, it's still inappropriate to discuss private breakfast choices at a public brunch.
The Hostess
Editors,
As a life-long resident of Van Nuys, I was insulted by your recent limerick ("Family Restaurant Menu, Part 9.2: Brunch Poetry"). You make it sound like our residents are appeasers just because "Nuys" rhymes with "spies." For shame.
Name Placeholder
Editors,
Please let our waitress know we are ready for the check.
Table 6
by Mike Spiegelman
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